1. Two Italian woodcutters were working in the forest. Suddenly one of them missed the tree with his axe and cut off his companion’s right leg in one blow. In between screams and yells the other woodcutter angrily shouts, “If you do that again, I’m-a gonna kick-a the shit-a out of you!”
2. An English gentleman went to his surgeon saying, “Old chap, I have this damned desire to be an Irishman. Can you perform some operation to make me one?” “Well,” replied the surgeon, “it is a fairly risky business, you know. We have to remove ninety percent of your brain.”
“Do it,” replied the Englishman.
When he awoke from the operation he found his bed surrounded by long-faced doctors. His surgeon stepped forward, saying, “Terribly sorry, old chap, but during the operation the old scalpel slipped and we accidentally removed one hundred percent of your brain!”
“Ah, na fuckin’ worries mate!”
Have a nice day!
